sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
