my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
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