This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
