But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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