we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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