Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
