like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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