That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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