Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
