I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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