god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I did not marry a roomba.
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