Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
