Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
