Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
