Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
