I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober