Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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