SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers