is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
