I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
