I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
