Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
