The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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