mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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