She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
