I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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