the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
