Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
