im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
