Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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