So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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