We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
