How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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