Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
