Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
