He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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