At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize