i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
