i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
