It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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