I got chris browned last night
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
