Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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