69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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