I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
