My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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