If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
