if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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