nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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