Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
