i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
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