Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
