too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
you made out with another girl for some wings
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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