if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize