My girlfriend figured out who you are.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
