Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
