it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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