but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
