I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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