My first STD was from a foam party
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
